Monday, 9 May 2011
00:13
So, I was supposed to have an appointment at a nearby Mental Health Clinic on the 4th. It didn’t happen in the end, but not because I pulled out or anything. Rather ironically the doctor called in sick, so I got the receptionist ringing me in the morning telling me they had to rearrange an appointment. They have done so and I now have to wait again until the 15th June. I’m not too bothered about it to be honest. This whole thing is a ridiculously long process anyway so an extra month’s wait isn’t really that big of a deal.
I have been having doubts here and there about it all, but it inevitably comes back around to being what I want to do. I know it’s not a simple thing to do, but I also know I would always regret it forever more if I did nothing. That alone is reason enough.
Other than that not a whole lot of blog-worthy things have happened. I’m getting on at work, doing more than I’m being paid for and yet still being paid less than other people at my level thanks to turkey-gate the Christmas before last. Still hoping for a promotion, but at the same time looking around for more work, albeit not that thoroughly.
I still don’t really know what I want to do, job-wise. I still love writing, but I also never feel like it. I love playing the piano, but my keyboard stays stubbornly under the bed. The only job worthy skill I have is being adept in the use of computers, which would have been great fifteen years ago, but these days it’s kind of just expected of you.
I think what I really need is a bit of self discipline. I need to set aside time each day to do something productive that isn’t just cleaning and tidying. I say I should do this, but I sort of feel now that I probably won’t. I can barely make myself come on here to type this up; even now Family Guy is on and my right eye and ear is mostly focused on that.
My Mum always told me to not just let things happen. Don’t wait for things to come to you, you need to go out there and find them. Unfortunately up until this point in my life, I haven’t really gone out of my way all that much to be where I’m at today, so therefore I’ve never really learnt that lesson. I think it’s time I started to pay attention to some of the things my Mum told me when I was younger.
Oh yes, there was another thing to tell you all. I’ve had my hair cut. I have to be honest, it did need it, but if it were completely down to me I probably wouldn’t have cut it as short as it is now. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not short short. It can still pass for a female cut, but I have a family wedding to go to at the end of the month and I need to look smart for it. Fair enough it wasn’t really smart before, but I do miss the length.
There is a bit of a story behind my cut as well. It was actually two cuts. The first time I went to a unisex (although mainly female) salon and asked for a “shaggy style” cut to just over my ears and with a fringe. The hairdresser did not speak English very well. I walked out the salon with a fairly obvious ‘bob’ cut, and no fringe.
I thought it looked pretty good despite it being completely different to what I asked for. But it was patently obvious that it was a girls cut and the next few days I got quite a bit of playful teasing about it at work. I decided that, excuse the pun, my hair wasn’t exactly going to cut it with my family at the wedding, so I headed off to a men’s salon and got it done by someone that could speak my language and I came out with something resembling the description I’d requested when I walked in.
That is there-and-abouts the story of my hair. I am not unhappy with it, but I do miss how long it was before.
That is about all I have to say. I’ve just had a lovely week off work, so I’m feeling pretty chilled out all round. We haven’t really been out to do much as we have next to no money, but it was a good week in all.
Here’s my Song of the Moment and there’s also a couple more pictures from that last batch. Hopefully there’ll be some more new ones soon.
Night! X
Becoming Ella 