Archive for September, 2008

I’m Not Even Angry…

September 26, 2008

Friday, 26 September 2008


I am still alive. In fact I’m doing fantastic and I’m still alive. Still alive, still alive…

I realised that the moment I exited the comfortable sunny beaches of transgendered websites to dive into the deep dark sea of YouTube and the like, I would come across sharks that would inevitably want to eat me up and leave nasty comments and poke fun.

Well maybe sharks are a little too high up the food chain for these idiots that just insult and attempt to offend. I think seaweed is more appropriate. Sure, it’s a bother when I’m swimming along and my leg gets caught in some seaweed, but at the end of the day I have a knife, so the seaweed is merely an inconvenience. Maybe I could even cut them off completely and make a nice soup when I get home.

So, to all the seaweed out there; I don’t care, I really don’t care. I’ve been happily surprised by the small amount of seaweed I’ve come across thus far anyway, and these new ones aren’t going to bother me at all.

Anyway, now I’ve cleared that up, I should probably let you know how I’ve been getting on. Well, the truth is, nothing has really changed. My parents are still ignoring this part of me. Recently at a family get-together one of my cousins was talking about a transgendered colleague at work, and how she gets treated unfairly, and as soon as the word ‘transgender’ was spoken I saw my mum physically jolted in her seat. I think it was only obvious to me because I knew she would, I don’t think the rest of my family noticed. The reaction I did like was from my Dad, who my cousin was talking to about this. He agreed it was unfair for her, and that has to be the closest sign I’ve had so far that he’s coming around. Before, he may have laughed, or maybe just not understood. Truth be told at the moment, I don’t think they’ll ever come around completely. We are that reserved as a family that I just don’t see them accepting this without them themselves changing, and I don’t want to change them as people, just their views.

As for my friends, nobody new knows. Sarah, the most accepting of all my friends, has a birthday coming up and has decided to do a Rocky Horror theme. Now, you may be surprised, but I’ve never seen that film, so I don’t know if it’s really suitable for me to be getting involved with something like that. I was hoping to wear my new Alice dress, but I highly doubt that fits in with the theme! Also, Sarah has been talking about travelling around the world with me. She’s been looking into getting round the world tickets, and I would be more than happy to do that as well. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do. What remains to be seen though is whether or not she’d let me be myself when we travel. It’s definitely a nice idea, but whether it will come to anything, we’ll have to wait and see, things like this usually don’t at the moment.

But I’m really being quite pessimistic. I’m lucky to have Sarah so understanding and accepting, and I’m lucky with all my other friends as well, many of which I still need to tell.

Hopefully I can work up the courage to get back to the doctors and get on with my life. I don’t know why I keep telling you this, I should really just get out there and do it. I want to be happy in my life, I want to be able to say “My life was a triumph, I’ll make a note here: ‘Huge Success’”.

Also there are a couple of new photos of mine up on Flickr…

25th August (2)


By the way, those of you that got the Portal reference, here’s your virtual cake. Seriously, it’s not a lie!

Night! X