Archive for the ‘Photography’ Category

It’s Snow Fair

March 18, 2013

Monday, 18 March 2013

15:41

Sorry if snow related puns ruin your day, there’s snow more, honest.

I have been putting off this entry in the hope that I would get some good news from the GIC soon. But alas, ‘soon’ appears to be a word that is seldom used at the clinic.

Here’s the current situation: My second appointment was due on the 18th January. Unfortunately the god of weather decided I’d be better off staying in and began dumping inch upon inch of snow onto the unsuspecting ground. Now, in case you didn’t know the UK as a whole does not react well to the white stuff. Cancellations and amended timetables were the order of the day at the train station, but that didn’t really matter because getting to the train station was hard enough in itself. Bearing in mind it takes me over three hours in total to get to the clinic, there was snow chance that I was going to get there in time, if indeed I got there.

So I phoned them up and postponed it. I did it as soon as I could that day, but due to their high cancellation rates and the ‘NHS Guidelines’ you are supposed to give 48 hours notice. This had me concerned as I really didn’t want to have to go through the whole GP, psychiatrist treatment again. I also sent in the letter of cancellation (which they require) and basically since then I’ve been left in the dark.

I’ve been trying to get through to them the past few weeks, but they’ve either been busy or engaged, sometimes immediately after each other which is peculiar. But thankfully last week I broke through and got to speak to someone. I asked about my appointment and she reassured me that they had received my letter and my appointment would be rearranged, but she did not specify a timeframe.

It has been two months since I was supposed to have my appointment and I wouldn’t have heard a thing from them if I hadn’t phoned them myself. Is this what they are like? I was under the impression that once you are an actual patient of the clinic things started moving a little quicker. Maybe I was being optimistic.

The other result of this is that the Finasteride which I had started a course on, has since finished and I have been unable to continue it until it’s cleared by Dr. Lorimer.

So there you go. I’ve found the right road to head down, but unfortunately it’s covered in snow and the only people with a snow shovel are withholding it.

In other news, news I failed to mention last time; I have a nice new written warning from work. Just like the time I stole a turkey but didn’t. Only this time I had a debilitating illness and couldn’t breathe properly. I think it’s only fair I’m punished for that, no? The written warning basically means that for 12 months I won’t get a pay rise or a bonus if we get one at all.

Because I was off longer than is allowed and because my illness isn’t underlying, I have been issued with a big smack round the ear hole. Gotta love absence policies.

Well since then I have written up a letter to Head Office explaining my situation and my unhappiness about it. It shall be sent today and I really hope I get a reply from it. I doubt anything will actually change because of it, but I just feel like I wanted to share my personal experience with their policies and what I felt about it.

In other, other news. Pictures! I have got quite a few ready to upload that I have taken since my last update. A lot of them were taken with my iPad and therefore aren’t quite as clear. To be honest though, the lack of pixels sure makes it easier to achieve a smooth complexion! Also you may notice that I have a new wig or two. Well, eagle eyes, you are correct. I bought a couple near the end of last year and these few sets comprise mostly of those. I’ve gotta say it, blonde does seem to suit me quite well, or at least I think so. I did used to be blonde after all.

So there you go, my life over the past few months, condensed and thrown across a web page for you all to peruse. My song of the moment is actually really more of my album of the moment. That album would be “Tales from the Thames Delta” by The Milk. This song is basically just one of my favourites from that album. They’re a great band and there’s really snow-one like them out there at the moment.

Night! X

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Snow.

The Doctor Will GIC You Now

September 23, 2012

Sunday, 23 September 2012

22:48

It’s funny how trains make me feel nervous every time I use them. The same way that I associate airports with holidays, I relate trains with importance. If I’m on a train I’m probably doing something that’s pretty memorable or different, going to a new place or meeting people I’ve never met before. This last time was no different.

I took the train down to the fine city of London for my visit to the Gender Clinic last Thursday. This time I had rung up the day before to be sure my appointment hadn’t been cancelled… again, which it hadn’t thankfully, so I was happy about that but at the same time quite scared. This time it was actually going to happen. It has been a long time coming, not all of it due to waiting list times, some of it was due to my unavailability as well, but finally the day was here. Have I built it up enough yet? I think so.

So I had an appointment with Dr. Stuart Lorimer. I hope he doesn’t mind me naming him, I really don’t see why he would. Well I guess he may do if I started saying I thought he was an asshole, but he absolutely was not akin to any kind of human orifice whatsoever. He’s a really nice guy. He immediately put me at ease, he was friendly, he listened, and I felt like I could really open up with him. The appointment was basically another assessment of my case, as my first one was now several years ago. He just wanted to know if anything had changed between now and then. So there were all of the sorts of questions you’d expect. When did it all start? Who have you told? How did they react? Those sorts of things. One thing I was scared of was that he’d be constantly judging me, trying to read my thoughts or something, but if he was doing that, he was doing it very subtly!

So that hour passed by pretty quickly. I actually came away from it being incredibly relieved and happy. It is always good to get something off your chest anyway, but when it’s something that’s been there for as long as you can remember, and they completely understand what I mean, it feels fantastic!

I have a second assessment in January, so until then it’s pretty much back to how it was for the moment. I made a decision from that meeting that I am going to have to talk straight with my parents pretty soon to see where we all stand on the matter now. It’s been out there a while, it’s been given the chance to sink in, so hopefully any rage or upset will have subsided, but we will see I guess. Hopefully it’s not the sort of thing that festers over time, but even if it is we should probably get it out sooner rather than later anyway.

Lastly, Dr. Lorimer suggested I start on Finasteride due to my rapidly retreating hairline. Pretty much all of the older males in my family have long since lost the vast majority of their hair so he’s suggesting I start Finasteride to combat it. I am greatly considering it, but would be curious to hear some stories from people that may have used it in the past or are on it currently. I know most people probably don’t want to hear that the girl they see in the pictures on here is having issues with Male Pattern Baldness but I want to be as honest as possible without shaming myself!

Also lastly and actually unrelated to my trip down London town, at work we have just started employing a whole host of new people. I mention this because, now I’m not 100% on this, but I think one of the new starters could be a transsexual woman. Now this affects me in a few ways. First of all, excellent, my employer is happy to accept this (not that they really have a choice) so that bodes well for me if I wished to stay if I transition. Secondly, excellent, I may have someone very close to home that I can talk about all this and not be worried of repercussions. Thirdly, how do I go about introducing myself to her whilst remaining ‘undercover’? And fourthly, what if she recognises me? Now normally I wouldn’t expect her to. I mean it’s not like I’m immediately recognisable to every transsexual in Britain because I do this blog and post a few flickr pictures. My ego isn’t that swollen…yet. But it’s just the way she’s been looking at me. I don’t know, there’s a sort of hidden knowledge in her eyes. Yes I’m probably being paranoid. But let me just do this…

If you are this woman and know who I am; Hi! Sorry I’ve not come and greeted you properly. I’m sure you’ll understand as to why. I would very much like to chat with you but for the moment could it just be from the comfort of respective computer chairs? So if you do know and you want a chat then leave me a comment (please don’t feel like you have to!). However if you don’t know me, then you won’t be here reading this and I’ll be speaking to literally nobody at all. Hell, you might not even be transsexual; I may have missed the mark completely. Either way, I hope you enjoy working with us and I truly hope that you don’t get any sort of ‘hate’ related issues. It’s not so much the staff I’m worried about, it’s the minority of rude customers I’d be more concerned about. They can be devastatingly offensive given the option.

Anyway, that is about it from me today. I feel I have said enough!

Song of the Moment: Photosynthesis by Frank Turner.

 

It’s not so much just this song it’s all of his stuff. I’ve only recently discovered him and I’m having a bit of a secret love affair with him. Don’t tell Sarah.

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Night! X

I ♥ UK

August 28, 2012

Tuesday 28th August 2012

13:09

I’m still not back at work. I have been signed off for the whole of this week, and then I’m on holiday next week. The thing is though I’m almost well enough to go back to work. I can walk around without getting too out of breath now, I just can’t do anything much more than that, and unfortunately my job requires much more than that. I’m tempted to just have this week off and spend my weeks holiday making sure I’m properly rested and return to work fresh faced and eager(ish) the following week. If I make myself go back early then it might screw up my holiday if I don’t handle it very well. I just feel like I should be back and feel guilty for being off really.

So my holiday next week, if I am feeling alright, is going to be a cottage in Cornwall. We’re only going for a few days, but I’m very much looking forward to it. Since I’ve been with Sarah we’ve only ever holidayed abroad, which is great and all, but there’s a beauty to Devon and Cornwall that’s unmatchable. I cannot wait to get onto that beach and watch that sunset over the sea taking in the scents of the salty sea air. Maybe even with a cheeky fish and chips. It has to be done. It is the British way!

Actually about that; I’ve never felt more proud to be British than I have this year. We have had a fantastic unforgettable year. All the sport, Andy Murray reaching the Wimbledon final, Bradley Wiggins winning the Tour de France, England doing sort of ok in the Euros, and of course the whole of the Olympics. Not only did we host both a stunning opening ceremony and closing ceremony, we also did pretty damn well at the actual events as well, ending third in the medal table. And then there were all the Diamond Jubilee celebrations, all the concerts, the street parties, seeing the Queen passing through our city, it was just amazing.

I may need to stick the national anthem on and cry a proud tear. Excuse me. Actually “Land of Hope and Glory” is better, let’s put that on. That one gives me the chills. Seriously how is this not the national anthem?

Anyway, went off on a bit of a tangent there. It’s just been a good year to be British; I felt it needed to be said. Hopefully the Paralympics will also be a good watch.

More on topic, it’s worth mentioning that I did take some more pictures over the last few days, so you can expect to see them up some time in the future. I will upload the last of the ones from April and a teaser for these new ones!

This may well be my last entry before my appointment next month, so wish me luck. I will of course let you know how it went. Until then, thanks for reading!

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Night! X

Drugged Up

August 22, 2012

Wednesday 22nd August 2012

10:29

Twice in one week?! You better believe it buddy!

I’ve just uploaded some of my April pictures to Flickr, there are more to come. Also there may well be some more from this week. While I am actually unfit to work, I should be fit enough to do a mini photo shoot.

Also I’ve had a few wigs through this morning. I’ve decided against human hair wigs for now, I can’t really justify the price of them, so I just got some fairly decent synthetic wigs. They actually feel really good, hopefully they look good on me, you’ll have to judge for yourself in like four months when I upload them! I will try my best to get some up this week. I won’t ruin the surprise by telling you the styles, but I will say that one in particular is unlike any I’ve owned before. One thing I have to make sure I do this time is care for them properly though. All but one of my old ones I’ve had to throw out just because they became matted and disgusting looking. Now I know why the care instructions don’t say ‘stuff clumsily into your bottom drawer’. I’ve ordered a couple of wig stands so that will help, there’s just the problem of keeping them out of the sight of prying eyes.

I went back to the doctors yesterday. They think I have the start of tonsillitis. I’ve had laryngitis before and I get the feeling they’re pretty similar. I can’t wait until I get the whole set, I can start placing houses and hotels on them then.

Basically it hurts to swallow, so I have to take a tonne of penicillin, paracetamol, ibuprofen and ‘difflam’ spray now. I feel like a drug dealer, except for the fact I’m the one taking it all. Like a drug dealer with a bad business model then I guess.

I have to go back in a couple of days and the doctor said if I’m not improving by then, I might have to go up to the hospital. She took a mouth swab which she is going to send off to check that it isn’t anything ‘exotic’ as she called it. I hope I do improve, but I have to be honest, I’m really loving not going into work. I don’t find the time to do this blog when I work. Granted I’d probably get pretty bored quite quickly, and I will say that the days all seem to merge together as well, but overall I’m still loving it.

I’m also supposed to be on holiday the week after next, so I’m not really that inclined to try and return to work before that. If I’m off until then I basically get a free week of recovery.

The one thing I’m not happy about though (apart from the whole pain thing) is that my workplace does not respond well to genuine illness. In a nutshell if I’m off more than three times in about three months, no matter how long for, you ‘trigger’. Also if you’re off for more than eight shifts in six months you will ‘trigger’ as well. Triggering basically means you will have to go to a meeting with your manager where they will pretty much always give you a written warning. Written warnings mean you won’t get any pay rises or bonuses for a year. This, in my opinion is a bit extreme. Granted I’ve only ever worked at this place, so this could be the same for many companies, but I don’t know, my family seems to think it’s unfair. I mean any company that punishes someone for having a genuine illness seems unfair.

Still, I guess I’m lucky to have a job at all in this climate, right?! Right?! It doesn’t stop me from disliking it though. I would love a different job, my problem is not knowing what I want to do, and not having any qualifications in whatever it is that I want to do.

Well I’ll leave it there. Here are those pictures!

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Night! X

Working It Out

May 4, 2012

Friday 4th May 2012

00:59

My next appointment is in August. They did offer me an earlier appointment but it’s pretty difficult to get a day off at work at such short notice. I’m ok with this. It’s not the clinic’s fault that my place of work is remarkably intolerant of their employees doing anything but work. In fact, work is right now the issue that has been occupying my mind most recently.

I’m going to try and sum this up as quickly and concisely as I can, but it’s pretty complicated, so please bear with me.

There are three tiers of employees at my work that you first need to be aware of. It may be a standard across many areas of work, I don’t know, I’ve only pretty much done this job. So for clarification purposes I’m just going to say them. There are Customer Assistants, Coordinators and Managers. I am, as you may have surmised, a customer assistant. My coordinator is a great guy, real nice and everything, it’s just he’s not the best. About a year ago he got demoted from manager and he’s been a less than stellar coordinator since then. No offence to the guy. If you’re reading this, I apologise, but I doubt that what I’ve just said is going to be his main concern once he sees my pictures and videos! As with almost all of my colleagues, he does not know about me.

Anyway, more recently he had been off ill for quite an extensive period of time with a slipped disk that may or may not have been sustained at work. Therefore my work was cautious to force him out of his position. They didn’t fully believe that his injury was all that it was cracked up to be, if you excuse the expression. Frankly, they had reason to as well, because whilst off ill, he had managed to acquire himself a job elsewhere. During his time off I had been elected to fill his shoes and I was happy to receive both the extra responsibilities and more importantly, extra pay. My manager was happy with me in that position and often mentioned how I was better than the actual coordinator. Eventually the ‘real’ coordinator came back, but only temporarily, as he came armed with his leaving notice.

A week passed and we said goodbye to the coordinator. It wasn’t all that long before my manager pulled me aside and asked if I’d be interested in his job permanently.

“Yes” was the general gist of my response.

Unfortunately though, the week before he left I had applied to another store as a coordinator there as it wasn’t 100% clear that there would be a position available to me at my current store. So I’d hedged my bets and just gone for it. My interview was due just after this other guy left. I went. I failed.

Things changed quite quickly after that. Apparently because the interview was a company standard, the same result applied at my current store, meaning I couldn’t then apply for another promotion for another six months. It’s funny how a fake role play session in an interview room holds more importance than the actual real world job which I’d previously been praised on.

The worst part is, if I hadn’t had gone for this other job first, I’d have had my interview in my current store with people that know me and the standard that I work to and they’d have probably just passed me on that alone. So my over enthusiasm for the job role ended up meaning I didn’t get it.

No wait, the worst part is that the reason they gave me for not passing the interview was simply because I was “too vague”, which ironically is a bit too vague in itself. During the role play I kept asking her if she understood, and everything was clear, and she said she was fine at the time. Then apparently looking back she decided I wasn’t clear enough and failed me. That wouldn’t happen in the real world. If I was being vague, the employee would have asked more questions at the time rather than going off and realising they didn’t know what to do.100_5408 (1)

No, actually the worst part is that I’ve previously passed this assessment before, but because I was suspected of stealing turkeys a few years ago I didn’t get the job then. So now I’m just heading backwards. I’m apparently not even as good as I was three years ago.

So since then, I’ve been dropped back down to customer assistant. I’ve also decided to apply to a different section altogether, just to get a change of scenery and get away from the people that I was in charge of. My current manager wasn’t exactly too happy about me leaving, but he couldn’t stop me. I don’t blame him for my predicament, it isn’t his fault at all, but he has been a little over-reliant on me and my flexibility recently. No that’s not a euphemism.

So I applied and got this job in the other section, which I’m pretty happy about as it gives me a lot more free time in the evenings and afternoons. My current manager and his manager have since offered me a different position on my current section, but I’m just not happy to continue down there any more. I’ve given so much, been promised so much and been delivered so little down there that I just wanted to get out of it.

So there you go. There’s my essay about how work has been treating me recently. I will say this; there are far worse things that can happen to you at work, and I’m not for a second saying what I’ve been through has been all that terrible. Hell if I ever come out at work I can probably tell you some of those stories, but until then I just have these quite unfortunate series of events to complain and whinge about!

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Night! X

GIC You Later!

February 24, 2012

Friday, 24th February 2012

00:37

I feel it is almost pointless to even acknowledge my lack of entries at this point. Finding the time to sit down and pour out my thoughts is unfortunately decreasing at a steady rate. I will not, however, stop updating completely. I would like to think that with more things happening in my life in the near future that I’ll find I’ll have more to write about. Sometimes it isn’t that I simply don’t have the time; it’s more that I actually haven’t done anything of particular interest.

But you will be pleased to know that since last August I have done some things of particular interest.

First off, I went to the Gender Identity Clinic down London way last Monday. I had to swap my day at work, and fortunately they didn’t ask too many questions as to why. There were a few queries of innocent wonder, but my girlfriend and I decided to tell them that I was going to the doctors, and that it wasn’t in our town, but that it had something to do with a “downstairs area”. I find that this method is both a good conversation stopper and not a complete fabrication, so you can say it with some conviction!

So yes anyway, by the Sunday night I knew what day it was booked, where it was, but unfortunately only the approximate time. I knew it was 10 something, so that was enough for me to book the ridiculously over-priced train tickets. Meanwhile, Sarah helped me look for the original appointment letter to find the exact time. Organisation isn’t exactly a strong point of mine you see. Well I couldn’t find it, I was getting tired and irritable so I just said I’d ring the clinic on the train to find out the exact time. It wouldn’t be the end of the world. But just as I was getting into bed Sarah did find it and all was right in the world once more.

There is a point to me telling you this by the way. It’s not just a simple, we couldn’t find it, but then we found it story. They’re not wholly interesting on their own.

So I woke up early ready for a big day. Got on the train and sat on it for 2 or so hours, listening to music and podcasts to try and ease the butterflies in my stomach. I got to London, sat on the Underground for another half an hour or so, walked the ½ a mile or so to the clinic, buzzed myself in and spoke to the receptionist.

“Name please”

I gave them my name.

“…..”

I waited patiently.

“…..”

I continued waiting patiently.

“Bear with me a minute”

So she went and fetched a woman from the back room. I looked into her eyes and immediately understood who she was. She was the ‘bad news’ lady.

“Urm, yes. The doctor you are booked with is off ill today…”

My face may have been a picture at this point, I do not know, but I am nothing if not polite, so I took the news well. After all it probably wasn’t their fault. Right?! My work often requires me to be the ‘bad news’ person, and it pretty much is never my fault. I wasn’t about to get angry at these people. Above all else, it’s just not me.

So she then goes on to tell me that I’ll have to rebook my appointment. She didn’t mention how long it will take, but I’m fairly convinced it will be around the same amount of time as it was to get my first appointment; about 6 months.

The one bit of good news she did have, though, was that they would pay for my train fare down there, which I think is pretty fair.

So there we go. I was in and out of there quicker than a trip to the toilet. I then had to head to the main hospital to collect my train fare money and afterwards I headed off back home.

I’d just like to point out that the above transcript is likely to be fairly different to what actually happened, but the main points are in there. I’d also like to make it clear that each of the people that I spoke to were incredibly polite, friendly and welcoming. I have no issues what-so-ever with the people that dealt with me. I am however not very happy that I wasn’t informed about my doctor being off ill before-hand and the fact that my name did not even appear on the appointment list. I believe that I’m not being too unreasonable to think that. This is after all the second time something like this has happened to me in three appointments.

The most irritating thing of the day though was the fact that if Sarah hadn’t found that appointment letter the night before, I’d have found out that my appointment was cancelled when I rang them whilst on the train and I could have saved myself a good five hours sitting on my bum doing nothing!

Oh well, hey. It’s not the end of the world. It’s just a little clerical hiccup. I shan’t let it get to me.

So there we go, that’s a quick update of where I stand at the moment. I have other things that I wanted to talk about as well, but the GIC appointment has taken up quite a lot of room. That’s ok though, hopefully having a subject to talk about will make me come back quicker to bring you another update.

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Night! X

Decisions Decisions

August 14, 2010

Saturday, 14 August 2010

23:10

And there it went.

So, I pulled out. I decided it wasn’t for me. I’m a bit of a tease really aren’t I?! Yeah, I decided against it because, well there’s several reasons. First off it was becoming apparent that I would have needed to be going away for the weekend quite often and I can’t be constantly running away from my loving girlfriend all the time. I’m lucky to have her in the first place and to put that in jeopardy would be a ridiculously silly thing to do, I’m sure you understand.

Second reason: Seen as I would be going away quite often I would need to constantly make up stories to tell both mine and Sarah’s parents when I couldn’t go to either for a Sunday roast. I had to do it the one time for that photo-shoot and I immediately remembered how much I hated intentionally misleading people. Partly because I’ve been doing it all my life and it can never be a good thing to get back into that, and partly because I’m not very good at lying. Which is also basically my third reason:

I’m not very good at acting. And I believe that would have developed into a bit of a necessity! Granted I’ve never actually tried acting, and I’m always told it’s not that hard, but I figure that if there are some whole schools dedicated to it then it can’t be one of those things that you can just “blag your way through”. Well you could, but it could end up looking like a bad acted porno. Which leads nicely onto my last reason.

Whilst not technically porn, it was close enough for me to reconsider. It’s what it’s all about even if I wasn’t going to be showing more than I already have. I made a promise to myself several (hundred) posts ago that I would never do anything porny, and I think I should stick to my principles. Well if I don’t who else is going to?!

I think that’s all the reasons I have to be honest. I do wish the Tranisa.com crew the best of luck and I hope that it all works out well. They really are a nice bunch of people and if any of you are considering modelling for them and are sure you want to do it, just go for it. I look forward to seeing the kind of things they make.

What? I will. I watch porny things, why not? Well actually I don’t, I read it. And that’s all I have to say on the matter…

Every time I write porny it just makes me wonder if there’s ever been a porn film called “My Little Porny”.

Google says no, but apparently it was front page news in Bristol (?!)

Oh and there’s a quiz based on this very concept. But when isn’t there?

(I got 2 out of 12!)

Sorry, my mind does wander sometimes. I think I need to ban myself from using Google when I’m writing one of these, it really does interfere. Within about 5 minutes I’d have been viewing the history of sporks for no particular reason.

So yes anyway, my main point is that I won’t be carrying on with my modelling, at least in this way. I would like to do modelling that’s, say, more family-friendly though.

Some possible good news; Sarah now works earlies whilst I’m working lates, so whilst it’s not exactly great for us, the good thing is that I might be able to write up on here a little more often. Just don’t expect pictures everytime! I unfortunately don’t get that much time to dress with make-up. I will continue to upload a few unseen photos from the shoot though.

That’s enough for now, I have more to say, but if I keep them for another entry it might actually make me do it!

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Oh yes, I almost forgot, here’s a song of the moment. Well it was 2 months ago, but it’s still relevant. One of my favourite songs ever, it really is quite beautiful.

 

Night! X

Tranisa.com

July 15, 2010

Tuesday, 14 July 2010

22:06

Ok, here goes.

This is exciting. Exciting, but still pretty nerve-wracking! I’ve had a professional photo shoot done for a new website, along with a couple of videos. I think I’ll just go ahead and show you them. There’s not a whole lot of point beating around the bush. First off, there’s this. It’s a video of my photo shoot.

 

Different look right? Never thought blonde would suit me as much as it did, but then I did used to be blonde when I was younger so I guess it makes sense.

Ok, and here are a few of the photos that came out of it.

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So, the website, in case you haven’t guessed by now is Tranisa.com. What it hopes to do is create non-explicit transgender fantasy films. I’m sure some of you will be familiar with Fictionmania, and that’s basically what this is but with films instead of stories. They are currently looking for more models/actors to star in their films, so why not go for it if you want to!

I hope this project does work out well for the people involved, whether I’m part of it or not. I think it will as well, it does seem like something that’s lacking on the internet, or anywhere for that matter.

I don’t think I’m going to go on and say much more for now. Yesterday I had a 13 hour night shift and I’m feeling a little tired today, what with my messed up sleep pattern, so I don’t really feel like staying up much longer. I think what I’ve given you is enough stuff to peruse for now anyway. I look forward to hearing your feedback about it all!

One thing I will just say, yes I know, I really need to sort out my voice. I really do hate it, and what is more annoying is that I think I sometimes sound ok, but then listening back to my voice on a recording just makes it sound ridiculous and very deep. If I’m going to be in any of these films, or even just in day to day life I’m going to need to train my voice.

Oh yes, I’m also aware that the last video I uploaded is only available in the states because of the music licensing stuff. I will sort this out one way or another soon, but until then, just treat it like any major film release; in America they usually come out several months before it comes to other parts of the world. I’ve never understood why that happens, can they not take too much money in one week or something? Wallets not big enough?!

Anyway, I’m going to bed.

Night! X

Media Mania

June 8, 2010

Tuesday, 8 June 2010

00:46

Hey Ho. I’ve been having fun!

Last week I came back from a holiday that I absent-mindedly neglected to mention. It was great. Me and Sarah went to Turkey for a week, and for I’d say about 80% of it I was eating. Food is so cheap there compared to UK prices, so we really couldn’t help ourselves. Not only was it all fantastic and tasty, they pretty much gave you half a cow if you asked for meatballs or something, and then they’d throw on a salad that could be blamed for the worlds deforestation, and then sometimes a free dessert, which you couldn’t exactly turn down could you?! Not if they’d already brought it out to you and started spooning into your mouth?!

I’m kidding of course. There was a lot of food and I think I’ve made that clear now. The result from that, of course, is that I’ve gained a few pounds. Or at least I did. They have since been de-gained from going back to work and running around more than is probably necessary. So yes, I’ll give you a few pictures of the area I went to. It was Calis Beach, near Fethiye, if that means anything to you. Here you go…

IMG_1979 (1)

IMG_1993 (1) IMG_2006 (1)

The area was beautiful and I could have easily stayed another few days. Sarah, on the other hand, could have stayed another few years. I have to admit I was slightly missing being able to be Ella out there. Sure I had a few girly things for the hotel room, but most of the time we were out and about I had to be a guy. It wasn’t really enough for me, so I’m quite glad to be back and able to spend more than half my time being Ella again.

So that was my holiday. I did enjoy it a lot and I have to say it was nice to relax a bit after this whole work fiasco. I kind of needed a holiday after that.

But now I’m back into the swing of things again, and in fact today I was able to take a few new pictures, and (brace yourselves) make a new video. I decided to make one of those ‘transform’ male to female ones. It’s basically just me putting some make-up on (badly), and then showing a few pictures. It really isn’t anything special, but I don’t really have a lot of possibilities right now. To be honest it’s quite a big step to show you all my ‘male’ self, but I figured I’m about ready, so there you go. In actuality I don’t really look much different from my wigless photos, so it’s not actually that bad.

So here’s my video, this can also serve as my “Song of the Moment” as well. It’s quite apt and I hope all the haters listen out for the lyrics.

I’ll also add the last few photos from January I never got around to uploading as well as the ones that were on the end of that video.

IMG_1891 (1)IMG_1893 (1)  IMG_1903 (1)

IMG_2066 (1) IMG_2064 (1)

Phewy, there we go. That’s pretty much a media overload I think. I don’t really have a lot else more to say. Well ok, I don’t really have anything that I think is worth staying up past 2am to say. I could go on for hours, but I do have work tomorrow and it is once again the start of my 5 day run.

Something I will mention though. It is my birthday this coming Thursday, so that’s something to look forward to half-way through my week. I’ll be 23. Oh and that modelling thing I mentioned last time is looking to still be on, but I won’t be doing anything for a couple of months I’d guess. The people organising it are very busy people, and seem to barely have time to breathe, so they’ll fit me in when they’re good and ready.

I think that’s about all. I’ll be back soonish, hopefully with more of a word-based upload rather than all of this nonsense!

Night! X

And The Results Are In….

February 25, 2010

Thursday, 25 February 2010

00:43

Well it’s taken me this long to get back and sit in front of the screen and write again. I have a problem with writing something when someone else in the room, the same way I do with taking photos of myself and peeing. That’s two separate activities, for the record. That would be much too much hassle. Maybe that’s why some people take pictures of themselves in nappies… Nah, I’m pretty sure they do it for kicks, I can’t say I relate to that myself, but if you do, take a look at this picture I’ve just done…

Nappy

Goodness sake, now I’ve just wasted time doing that when I could have been writing something of significance. All I wanted to say was that I can’t write when there are people around and pretty much every night my girlfriend tends to stay in the vicinity, she does live here after all. But now she’s asleep on the sofa, and I’m free to do my thing.

So I kind of left you guys hanging after the last one didn’t I? Sorry about that, it was only vaguely intentional! No, in all honestly I didn’t know what was going to happen and I was pretty worried, but I’m sure you’ve now worked out that I should still have a job because if I didn’t I certainly shouldn’t be wasting time making random pictures, and should be doing something useful like filling in a application form or updating my CV. Well you’d be right, even though I probably would still have done it in the other circumstance. I DO still have my job. But it isn’t all bunnies, rainbows and sparkle dust. Oh no. The final result was a “Written Warning”. The investigation process went on several weeks after I uploaded the last blog. Unfortunately this collided with some Holiday I was due to have off. I was told that I would get that time back, but alas, no. My ‘Holiday’ consisted mostly of worrying if it was indeed holiday or just delayed dismissal. I am still fighting this to this day, as I don’t see how I should be allowed to have my suspension cut off for a holiday. I know it make financial sense for the company, but it’s a bit of a kick in the (eventually metaphorical) balls. Especially as they called me in before my holiday because they thought they could come to a decision then, but then extended the investigation to find more evidence, which they didn’t even get, so it was a waste of time all round. Worst of all; my time.

Ok, let me just say, if this kind of thing bores you, I’d skip a couple of paragraphs because I’m going to be complaining a lot about how unfair everything has been.

The second thing, and worst thing, is that the job as a “Coordinator” that I had before Christmas is now not mine. I have been demoted back down to pleb. (Unofficial job title). Worse than that even, is that I’ve been told that I won’t get paid for the job that I did before Christmas because I never got “signed off”. And yet, the final verdict was made based on the fact that I was a Coordinator. Effectively then, I’ve had full responsibility for this incident and yet none of the pay. Something in that just doesn’t seem right. Again, I am still fighting this. I don’t know every aspect of the law, but I know the meaning of ‘fair’. Sure sure, life is unfair. I know. But it doesn’t mean you have to sit and take it, I plan on seeing this through. I’ve taken a bit of a backseat with it the last few weeks, just to settle back into my old job, but now I think I should really sort it out.

Now I know I haven’t mentioned any of the specifics of this incident, because to be honest with you it’s fairly in depth and a complete bore. Would not exactly be a mouse-scrollingly good read. But let me just tell you what the outcome is from my point of view. I now know that what I did was a naïve mistake, nothing more. There was no maliciousness in my actions. I did a favour for someone I thought I could trust and I end up losing my holiday, my promotion, my pay for the job I’d done, and probably a lack of faith from my superiors. Meanwhile the main person that did have malicious intentions sits back in her original position without losing pay or holiday and got away with a cheap turkey for Christmas Day. And yes that is all it was about. Turkeys that would have been thrown out anyway. Ri-freakin-diculous.

Pheeew. Right, got that off my chest. So for fairly obvious reasons I am looking for another employer. I will try and fight for what remains of my corner at my current workplace, but once I’m square I would really like to move on. Don’t know what doing, not all that bothered. Just something that pays fairly well for the moment. Maybe then I can get myself together and go learn something useful at night school and then look into starting a career I actually enjoy. I would be very interested in working in something like Photography or Advertising/Marketing. Something like that. I do enjoy writing but I don’t think my skills can really progress beyond blog writing, and let’s be honest; they do leave a lot to be desired anyway! I also wouldn’t completely write off modelling either, but I think I’d be hard-pressed to find an agency interested. Only in good taste though, not going down the ‘adult’ route in other words.

Been there, done that, removed my T-shirt.

Kidding, just thought it was funny. Ah I’m sad. Sitting here, on my own, making myself laugh by typing things into Word. Bum fluff. *Chuckle*. Poopy Head *Sniggers*. Titwank *Shakes Head with Serious Face*. That’s just going too far. No, naughty fingers, you don’t write words like that now do you. Naughty corner for you all. Go on. Going have to get by typing with my nose and fists now.

Anywho, I think you’re pretty much up to date on all the important things. And all the not so important things. I will once again try to be a little quicker providing you all with a slightly dramatised snapshot of my life once more. Enjoy my Song of the Moment. Until next time!

15th January (1)

15th January (2)

Night! X