Best Blog-Post-About-Being-Suspended-From-Work-By-Someone-Named-Ella of the Decade…ever!

Thursday, 31 December 2009

01:40

Here we are, last day of the year. It’s been quite a big one for me. Year that is, not day. I could summarise everything that’s happened to me since this time last year, but a) I don’t remember, b) You could just read the few posts I’ve done this year if you were really interested, and c) Nobody really likes “End of the Year” clip show recap kind of things. I know this because right now every other show on TV and article on the internet is one. There’s all these awards going around I doubt there’s anything that doesn’t have an award, and even then they’d probably receive an award-less award or something.

It’s also worse this year because there’s “Best of the Decade” awards as well. Don’t get me wrong I do like some of them for introducing me to new things I may have missed, but there seems to be this constant desire to rank everything. And then you get the people that disagree with an order of ranking and kick up a fuss. For goodness sake people, just enjoy what you enjoy and stop trying to convert everyone to the same views you have. It’s as bad as religion.

Hmm, religion. Yeh, I’m not going to go there.

So anyway, I have recently been suspended from work. For something that wasn’t my fault I’d like to add. They told me I shouldn’t be telling anyone about this, so keep this quiet, internet. Basically I was suckered into breaking our rules without me realising. I won’t go into too much detail, just in case, but I was effectively set up, and the only thing I’m guilty of is being an idiot by not noticing it. An investigation into it is currently ongoing, but if my interview was anything to go by, I’ll find out the verdict in about May. I couldn’t quite believe that they could ask me enough questions to constitute the 4 ½ hours interview I had. Well in fact they didn’t. Most of the time was me sitting around waiting for the interviewer to come back and then ask me the same question again. It was a bit ridiculous. It also made me cry, which is the second or third time I’ve broken down crying in front of people at work. I’m just not a very strong person in confrontational situations, and can very easily be intimidated. Unfortunately me crying seemed to make them believe I may have a guilty conscience. Ah well, if it comes out at the end of this that I’m guilty I definitely won’t be leaving it at that, I’ll bring in the big boy lawyers to seek justice. Then I’ll find another job.

So apart from possibly being sacked, I’m not doing bad. I had a great Christmas. My parents are still not acknowledging my transgenderism at all, and still insist on getting me typically ‘boy’ presents. I do like some of it, but that’s not the point, it’s that they’re just pretending I’ve never told them that bugs me. Fortunately though, my girlfriend Sarah got me nothing but typically ‘girl’ presents. Some pink bootie slippers, a big box of Boots No.7 cosmetics and creams, and a beautiful ring amongst other things. My friend Laura also got me a really nice necklace and a pair of pink patterned socks. It’s been great, I’ve loved everything I got. I got a lot of fancy chocolate too; right now I’m eating some Cocoa Dusted Chocolate Truffles, sipping Champagne, and laughing patronisingly at the lower classes.

I’m kidding.

I am eating the truffles, but that’s because I’m hungry and it’s too late to cook anything, and a lot of the dusty cocoa is going down my top, so yeh, it’s not quite as grandiose as I led on.

That’s 6 down, 24 to go.

Om Nom Nom Nom.

The longer I’m here writing this the smaller that 24 will get and the bigger my tummy will get, along with the size of my regret tomorrow morning when I’m leaning over the toilet, sick from excessive chocolate consumption. Never had that to be honest.

Well, there’s a first time for everything

Om Nom Nom Nom.

It is getting a bit late. You can tell it quite easily if you’ve got the TV on. When the only thing on that you want to watch are music channels, you know it’s time for a kip.

Oh, I better just say, I’ve been messing around with the domain name BecomingElla.com, and it’s gone a bit funky, so if you use that to find me use this address for now(https://becomingella.wordpress.com/), I’ll see if I can get it fixed, but my domain maintenance skills are somewhat lacking. I’d also like to get myself a proper hosted webpage, but I don’t yet have the expendable cash for it and this is uninteresting!

Ok, I’ll leave it there, here’s a few pics, and my song of the moment. It’s not exactly Christmassy, I’m just loving it.

IMG_1807 (1) IMG_1815 (1)

Hope you had Happy Holidays and have a Great New Year.

Night! X

16 Responses to “Best Blog-Post-About-Being-Suspended-From-Work-By-Someone-Named-Ella of the Decade…ever!”

  1. Exaxis Says:

    So that’s why I cant find you on becomingella.
    Crap to hear about work but then again, maybe it’s time to leave that part of your life behind. (Incidentally, if you confront your employers with yourself as a transgender, imagine how fast they’ll backpedal! Failing that, join the civil service; I’m on the inside of there and employment and promotion are almost guaranteed for any minority ;-))
    You’re looking mighty fine now by the way. I’ve introduced my wife to your blog and she’s smilingly stunned. You’ve got two supporters here now.
    I could write you a novel here but I’ll step back and leave you with a few simple wishes.
    Good luck, Happy New Year and. . . it really is a pleasure to read you.
    Take care.

  2. ReeceAzure89 Says:

    Seriously, talk about it! It’s about ranks and popularity these days! Instead of looking at the perspective of over and beyond in effort and patience, it’s all (well not all of all, but close to all) about just glitter, glamour, and whoever has the most money to show off. I respect the opinions of others too-and glad to see you have the omniscient eye(!)-but yes it also gets in my nerves that if people disgress with the ranks of such and such, it turns to flaming word wars ranting back and forth of nothing but nonsense and uncritical thinking strategies.

    Just what you said: “just enjoy what’s given”! That’s not to hard to ask for, isn’t it(?). Food is like religion, too. This whole “Diet program” thing with [experts] indicating that [their program] is the [better] than the latter. I like your thinking, Ella! It gets me thinking, too.

    The incident at work is beyond a set-up. I mean, you ARE a caring young and strong person. You have a warm heart of charisma. What dark story is there? The fact that you did not knew of the situation only just till afterhand smells fishy to me, too. I don’t like jumping into conclusions because I like to work my reasoning before finding out the truth, but I think this whole incident was planned because of your “different character” (..transgenderism..). (I hope that doesn’t offend you. I didn’t mean to offend you if I did!). Maybe you can just keep that part in the uppermost corner of your mind. Just think for a minute: who would despise you because you were different and people would find it uncomfortable to have a “different character” at work(?). But, considering the way how I wrote that, I guess I might as well have been too late give you a heads-up.

    I mean: I was an office manager at a small roofing business. Our business had just grown within the past ten years and has now expanded to mid-inland United States. The fact that my boss is my mom’s best friend, boy was it tough to hide what I was thinking. To hide my thinking was like lying to my friend and my boss has that policy which is: best way to win in business is to be truthful and honest. Because I felt like I was “somebody different” by the time I entered middle school (around twelve years old…I guess), and the fact that this feeling and anxiety grew, I felt like I was not being as honest enough in the office. (My coworker is gay and I have no problem with that. I have no problem with that. In fact, I support any day of the LGBT community). My boss already knows of his “orientation”. So because he outed a long while back to my boss, and knows of his “radar” exceptionally well, he saw me…differently. I am a guy, but Eddie (as mentioned) knew I wasn’t gay… He saw my intense femininity. How I try to dress in unisex clothes, how I am growing my hair out, and how I try “real hard” (almost like forcing) to be as MAN as possible because of “oh this is a roofing company, you are suppose to be a MUSCLE MAN” type of thing. Just around October, he finally got the courage to speak to me in private. I said couple of times, without trying to sound rude, “wasn’t it obvious?”. (I was hired on March of 09) Guess what happened after the talk. I was called up to my boss’s room and told me “business is slow, I’m sorry about this. But when business picks up, I will not hesitate to rehire you.” That was a lie because I have noticed how our company was expanding and getting in great revenue. Also, why I would think that was because by the next week, I saw a girl take my position as office manager, as I espied through the back window of our office. I was furious.

    But moral of the story: my “different character” brought an uncomfortable environment to the office and the company. Although being gay was comfortable enough to my boss, I dully can see how she cannot handle my thoughts of transgenderism even though I was like fifty percent from boyish looks to feminine looks. The next week, with my mom’s confused look, I just summarized directly what my boss told me (resisting to tell her of deeper thoughts): I got laid off because of slow business.

    In connection, maybe your situation has been deliberately set-up because of your “different character”. It really burns my heart that you got suspended from work! It is obnoxious, too, that it’ll take around May to find an answer to this whole situation between you and the people who set-up your work’s cancellation. That is long. I am just glad that you are thinking strong, Ella.

    Your parents still love you! I think they just don’t understand the reality of a transgender girl like you, just yet, even though it has been months you acknowledged them. I still have that “We will continue to love you, but will not support you if you continue [fill in the blank]” quote from a while back. Although, it is fine to some extent that parents want to only love you, you want them to also support you in anything that you become. It’s like a child thinking of his dream career: “when I grow up, I wanna be….an austronaut!” and the parents just hold each others hands in awe knowing they’ll be willing to support their child any time at any forgiven moment. I wish I can help you on that. But, yeah(!), I feel your ache that your parents just put aside that you ARE the girl and that you ARE being truthful to yourself. In minor note, at least your parents did not ignore sending you your christmas presents. Merry belated Christmas to you.

    Great pictures as usual, Ella. Is that your new Christmas necklace? If it is, it went great with your dress!

    PS: see? That’s what I don’t get. If your parents are uncomfortable of you as a transgender, why do they think so(??). I mean, you look fantastic. You would pass without hesitation. No “five-oh-clock chin shadows” (whatever that means. I just hear that that is a compliment when talking to a transgender girl: tells that there are no signs of a masculine jaw, perhaps?). You were born as a girl obviously. What’s their reason for hesitating of your character difference.

    Anyways, sorry for the long post, but because I have been such a great and honorable fan of you Ella, I thought as well love you with the same respect as I would to myself.

    Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, and good night to you, Ella. Good night to you.

    Reece Azure
    (I sent an eHug for you on new year’s).

    Happy new year Ella!

  3. Fiona Bianchi Says:

    Sorry to hear about the work thing, I hope it gets sorted out quickly and to your benefit, whatever the circumstances it’s not nice to have the threat of losing your job hanging over you😦

    As for the parents, yes, I know how you feel, it can take time or it can take miracles or it can take alot of both.

    Chocolate: Erm yes, can relate to that (munching apple now in vain hope of erasing the over-indulgence on fattening things the last two days).

    Would I be right in thinking that the pic on the left is more recent and that’s your real hair – in which case, WOW, you look fantastic! I love the hair style, the clothes, everything you look FAB!🙂

    Have a great New Year

    Fi xxx

  4. Mel Says:

    HI Ella,

    I’m going to keep it short. Still love reading your posts and I find it so wonderful what 2009 has brought you. The freedom to be the girl that you have to be.

    I’d also like to express how great I find it from Sarah to be so open minded. I think it takes a wonderful person to really see and fully respect someone for who they really are.

    Other than that Ella, I am very experienced with computers and am willing to help you out with any hosting issues you may have. If you’re interested dont hesitate to contact me. I’d happily contribute to the TG community.

    Wishing you and Sarah a wonderful 2010!

    Lots of love,
    Mel

  5. Hermione Simpson Says:

    After reading all the highs you’ve add during 2009, such as moving into your own place with Sarah, & going out dressed for the 1st time as Ella, it’s sad to see it end with such a low, because of your job situation, also with the whole parent/tg/present thing, it’ll take time, but why couldn’t they of gotten you gender neutral presents, such as dvd’s, books, etc instead, also your the new photos are fab, where did you buy the red dress, has i love it, & would love to own it myself & i look forward to reading what 2010 brings you for, I hope it’s more highs than lows, PS HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE

  6. Sir Pent Says:

    Cheer yourself up by downloading all of our free LIZARDS FROM AFAR music over at:
    http://reverbnation.com/lizardsfromafar

  7. spacial Says:

    Sorry to say it, but as I was reading your post I thought the same as Reece.

    You are right to take it through its stages. Understand your anger.

    I’ve been through it myself. Lost a promising career.

    But best of luck with the hearings and appeals.

    Whatever happens, your life goes on and you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, ect..

    TG is still at an early stage in the UK. It’s a lot better now though than it was a few years ago. (Thankfully).

    Anyway, another great post and pics are really good.

    Stay true. My best wishes and thoughts are with you Ella and yours.

  8. spacial Says:

    Ella

    hate to nag, but I and I’m sure, many others would really like to know how you’re getting on with your job problems.

    Keep us all posted.

  9. sur Says:

    I’ll start this with the ‘im sorry about your job, good luck with everything’ sort of thing and then move to this: there’s a pretty good chance I would be able to help you with your website. If you find time check out these sites I’ve contributed to… http://www.bravococlan.com -Nintendo Wii community website I started and built (though no longer running) and one I’m currently still working on but will take a long time due to gathering artists: http://www.houstonartspace.com – a (soon to be) community for urban artists in the Houston area to sell art without losing money to a big art studio. I also dabble in graphics: http://www.houstonartspace.com/gfx/exp.png http://www.houstonartspace.com/gfx/globe.png for two recent things I made out of boredom. BTW hosting is like 7 USD a month! If you’re interested please email me asap! Oh and I currently charge $0.00 an hour for my services lololol.

  10. teresagreen Says:

    hello Ella-nice to see your pictures I was just trying to get a little info on suspention from work theres not much about I really like all the love and suport you get from people im sure that makes you very happy🙂 So yes Iv been suspended from work with pay yesterday4what clear reson Im not sure myself?! but I think it could be because the gross bastard likes having his balls licked and I wont do it for him I leave that to the weak and narrow minded!lololol Your friend Reece Azure is right its all Ranks and Popularity!lololol And by the way you look lovely more so in your natural pose🙂 Love and best wishes from Teresagreen x

  11. greg Says:

    Hi Ella. Wanted to say “hi”. Just found your blog and read the posts. Sorry to hear about your work situation, hope it ends up OK. Just wanted to say that you seem smart and beautiful and deserve the best. Hope you keep blogging – looks like it’s been awhile since your last post. Thanks, Greg

  12. geecee Says:

    Hi Ella. Long time no blog and after such a serious last one, I’m probably not the only one concerned. You should do a quick update/message just to let everyone know you’re OK. Hope you are. Bye!

  13. Anmol Says:

    I started 36 hours back and just finished reading every word of your blog. Lucky I had work that I could afford to postpone. Iam a guy who feels very much a guy and one who likes girls (not withstanding the very occasional cross-dress that I pass quite well) and not in the same boat as you. However I was totally interested and involved as if you were a very close friend and I cared for your happiness🙂

    Whatever… I wish you the very best. I would love to be in touch with you. Good wishes to Sarah from my side. I hope this relation works for you. The plus is that you can legally get married she being girl and you guy. It will please your parents as they will believe you are near normal but at the same time you can exchange roles and you can be the girl in the relationship.

    I would stay non committal about weather you should go the full way in transition. It is your life but at the same time you have to think of your parents health and wellbeing (If they would really get that effected by it). So I dont know as for now as to which is the right path for you. May be if we had a chat on phone I could try and advise you better from my point of view but ultimately you have to decide.

    I have added you on flickr but may not be regular as I am kind of busy person and that was a fake/secondary account.

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