Good Times…

Saturday, 06 June 2009

22:05

I’ve been really busy lately. It’s all good stuff too. Last Sunday, I went up to Alton Towers, which if you haven’t heard, is a fairly decent theme park. Possibly the best one in the UK. Well I had a good day, although I did get pretty sick from Air (that’s the name of a ride, not the actual atmosphere). I have always been a little prone to motion sickness, but it seems to get worse as time goes on. The way things are going, by the time I’m 50 I’ll be throwing up when I lean forward for the TV remote.

But yeah, Alton Towers was great after I’d recovered. And that’s not all; I managed to top that on Thursday. Me, my girlfriend, and another couple headed up to Manchester and saw Oasis live, which was a-maz-ing. I’d only seen a couple of live bands before including Bon Jovi and *cough* S Club 7. But (fairly obviously) Oasis blew them out the water. It did have a few hiccups at the start though. During the first song, the whole stage lost power, and then during the second it went again. Turns out the generator blew out, so it took another 45 minutes or so for the techies to sort it. But once it did, it was the best live music I’d ever seen. We were pretty close to the stage as well; right in the front pit. I really am going to have to see more live bands in the future.

That isn’t all I’m up to this week either. It’s my birthday on the 10th June and to celebrate, I’m heading down to London with my girlfriend this coming weekend and going out as Ella hopefully all the time. I’ll be going to a TG club I’ve been to before. I’m not comfortable putting my exact location out on the internet for anyone to see, but if you’re out in London this coming Saturday in a TG bar you may see me! I have no idea what I’m wearing yet, but I’ve got plenty of choices now. I can’t seem to stop buying things, and I really should stop, money is more and more becoming a nasty issue.

I think I’m going to have to leave this one here. I keep getting sidetracked with the likes of YouTube and music. This isn’t good. I’ve not really been in a decent writing mood for a long time, but I do still really want to. I enjoy writing when I’m in the right frame of mind, but when you’re not it’s pretty tricky to think of subjects. And yet there is so much that should be going on in my life. I guess I could think of something completely irrelevant, but that would be like fishing in a barrel of fish only to find a toy space shuttle…

Oh I did see this male Britney impersonator on “America’s Got Talent” that looked pretty convincing and to be honest I’m a little jealous, but yeah hey, that’s why he’s on TV and I’m not. -EDIT: Just found out this was from last year’s show. Why is it the UK gets these shows a year late even if it’s our own programme format!? So anyway yes, sorry if you’ve already seen this about 20 times already-

I have to admit, I do get very jealous of a lot of women or crossdressers etc. that look better than me. It’s probably one of my worst traits. It doesn’t help that I’m a bit of a perfectionist as well. I always try to look the best I can, and when I still don’t look as good as some people it upsets me a bit, but that’s really something I’ve got to get over. If I can’t get the confidence in myself at all, I’ve got no hope! It’s just sometimes if I go out to clubs and see all these girls my age having a great time, and I’m feeling all ugly in my boy clothes, it can really get to me. And it has been getting worse. Recently, more often than not, I’ve been coming home really upset and physically in tears. It’s not really healthy. I think I talk about this quite a bit, and if I am repeating myself, I’m sorry, but it’s been on mind that much.

Having said that though, I am having a great time with Sarah and despite the weekly fits of tears I am the happiest I’ve ever been. Makes you think how bad I must have been before.

Well hey look I wrote a bit more. That’s what happens when you turn you music off and resist the urge of YouTube. Must…not…look….

***45 Minutes Later***

Damn it. It did it again. They should put some kind of warning up before you watch any videos on there. “We will not be held responsible for any viewers that never see the sun again”

Talking of YouTube…

***30 Minutes Later***

Argh, damnit. Talking of YouTube, my “Born a Girl” video has nearly broken the 200,000 viewers mark which I’m relatively impressed about. I may well think about uploading some more videos soon. I do still want to do one of me playing the keyboard, but because that requires me to practice, I probably won’t for a while. Maybe I’ll get something when I go out in London. Yeah, I’ll see what I can do…

Night! X

10 Responses to “Good Times…”

  1. exaxis Says:

    Repeat all you want Ella, you look great. The tears are temporary. Just think forward to when you’ll be able to go clubbing as the real you🙂 All those girls now, will be you quite soon. Take care and be well.

  2. Andrew Says:

    Ms. Ella,
    Hello,
    My name is Andrew pleased to make your acquaintance. I think I first saw your YouTube video and then saw your pictures on Flickr. At first I thought you were a GG playing tricks on TG admires saying you were a crossdresser. After finding your blog I now know you are genuine.

    I know what it is like to try and sit down and write. I write too, but lately it seems I cannot get motivated. But I should tell you just a little bit about me so that you know what kind of person is looking at you.

    I am 37 going on 38 my birthday is 17 June. I just keep getting older and older. However I still have a young attitude and I hope it never fades. I am in the U.S. Army and currently doing my third deployment to Iraq. I have been in the service now for 18yrs.

    As for the “real me”. I am a Leather Top Daddy Dom in the Leather lifestyle. If you are not familiar with what “Leather” is, it is a faction of what is the BDSM community. I know the Leather scene is not very prominent in the UK. However the BDSM community is huge.

    The thing that has prompted me to write you other than your beauty, honesty and willingness to share your life experiences with others is that at one time I was a crossdresser. It was a big part of my life at one time and still today I am a strong supporter and admire of the TG community.

    So I just wanted to tell you that you are beautiful and one of the most beautiful young CD’s I have ever seen. Your willingness to share your life and experience with others is an inspiration to others and I hope you realize that.

    Just remember when those tears start flowing that there are probably hundreds of young transgender girl around the world who look to you for inspiration. You are a pillar of strength I am sure for many and a mentor whether you know it or not.

    Stay beautiful inside and out and keep your chin up! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
    Sir Andrew

  3. Hermione Simpson Says:

    i’m glad that you’ve been busy and enjoying yourself and theirs no need for you to be jealous of other women and crossdressers, because you’re just as pretty as they are, and also i hope you have a good birthday on wednesday and that you get all the presents you wanted, and that you also enjoy yourself at the tg club next week with sarah and the other couple

  4. spacial Says:

    You look fantastic.

    OK, so you see other girls and want to look as good as them.

    Thing is, you already do!!!!

    But perhaps the desire to look better is a good thing.

    Anyway, another interesting post.

    Have a great time on your night out.

    Here’s looking at you kid!

  5. ReeceAzure89 Says:

    …Alongside with your successfully enjoyed concerts, oh, happy birthday Ella! Also, speaking of your wondrous day, I think it is most appropriate that I can say happy “almost-two-year-anniversary” keeping up your diary =] Keep going strong with life Ella😀 you really deserve to go out and try out that TG club. Sounds really interesting.

    I’m gonna hold my personal size cake for you Ella! For when you blow yours candles out on your cake,-with whoever it may be-my your cake will also be blown out🙂 I will share your day to my coworkers! Shows how much I support you Ella!

    Again happy birthday =]

    P.S.: Oh and speaking of support, you have already convinced me enough (for six month already since your “Born a Girl” vid!) to join either/both the GLBT/lambda community at school for the fall semester. I look forward to follow your footsteps, Ella!

  6. Matt Says:

    heya ella

    happy birthday!

    im also going to be in london this weekend. not visiting many bars though. will be out around the south bank area, near the millenium eye.

    hope you have fun!

    x

  7. whenhopeislostnothingremains Says:

    I haven’t been around the last few weeks but Happy birthday from Belgium as well…
    Hope you keep enjoying life as you are at the moment.
    Keep up the good work, girl.

    See ya,
    WHILNR

  8. arthur Says:

    win 4 free tickets to alton towers

  9. Ah that's me Says:

    Girl, enjoy yourself, be happy, and don’t bother what might others think of you. you are a girl born boy, but you have to live with your identity that ‘s a girl, and you need to choose the comfortable side. you are sexier than many born girls that is out there, they are probably jealous of you. but be aware of guys who just want to take advantage, it is that stupid society thing, but you can be stronger than that.

    I wish you are near me and we can be friends, I wish to know more about people in your shoes.

    best luck, sexy girl!

  10. Robin Says:

    You are soooooo gorgeous. XX

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