Leaving Singledom After 21 Years

Saturday, 27 December 2008

01:58

So, I went for it. Here I am typing right now and I’m not single, for the first time in my life. I’m going out with Sarah and I’m loving it! She is amazing, and while I was extremely nervous to start off, things are getting a bit better and hopefully I can soon be more relaxed with her. She is completely accepting of the real me, so much so that she even got me make-up for Christmas. I got loads! Well I think its loads because I’ve never had any, but I really didn’t expect her to get all the basics! It’s all good stuff too, I can’t wait to try it out.

There are some small problems though. Well one really. And this may sound bizarre given what I’ve already told my parents, but I am having a hard time talking about Sarah with them. They don’t yet know that I’m going out with her and that I’m planning to move out in the near future. I know it isn’t, but I can’t help but feel that I’m giving them mixed messages. So I want to be a girl, ok, oh but wait, what’s this, I have a girlfriend now. I know they don’t have to be mutually exclusive, but I would imagine my parents would think so. I just hope it’s not too much at once for them, but then again it has been over a year since I told them. I’m not even sure if they’d take this well or not. If they did take it well, it would probably be because they think the first thing I told them isn’t applicable anymore, but then I guess I’d have to explain it to them.

To make things just a tad more complicated, Sarah doesn’t know that my parents don’t know yet either. It’s not that I’ve lied, she just presumes I have told them, if it came up in conversation I’d probably tell her.

Ok, so what should I do? Is this too much for my parents if they haven’t actually come to accept me yet? Or should I just tell them and live my life without constantly seeking the acceptance of others? I know which option sounds better for me. I guess if I am going to be moving out soon, who I’m going with is going to be one of the first questions! I guess I have to tell them.

I realise that I am yet again over thinking a fairly simple matter, and I’m sorry, but that’s just what I do!

I am very much looking forward to moving out though. It is something that I’ve wanted ever since I got a taste for it at University. Sharing a place with someone who is not only accepting, but excited about the real me is clearly going to give me a lot more time of dressing how I want. I aim to do it pretty much all the time when I’m not working. That should give me more of an idea of how my life will pan out when I go through with this. I also hope to get back to the doctors and start on hormones as soon as I can once I’ve moved in. And we’re not talking years away here, maybe just a month or two, we’ll see what’s around. I honestly can’t wait! Things will probably get a lot more interesting and I’ll try to keep this updated regularly.

Well I better go, don’t want to leave you with an essay to read! Here’s some new pictures!

Oh yeah, and I hope you had a good Christmas and I wish you all a Happy New Year if I don’t write on here before then.

Night! X

23 Responses to “Leaving Singledom After 21 Years”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    Best of luck to you

  2. SkyAbove Says:

    Good luck, Ella. I think you can talk to your parents about how you feel about Sarah. Who you feel you are inside as a person (gender-wise), and who you are attracted to are two different subjects. I’m sure your parents love you and will accept you, so long as you are honest about how you feel.
    I hope you have the happiest New Year, and that your happiness continues for the rest of the years ahead.🙂
    Sky

  3. Pandora Caitiff Says:

    Congratulations🙂

  4. Alex Storm Says:

    I’m so glad that you’ve got someone who loves you for you. Iknow you’ve been throught a lot of changes lately, and hopefully this is the start of a trend of good things happening to you. I think you deserve it.

  5. RheaPDX Says:

    My Dear Ella,

    Congrats Hon….Here is hoping this move does go well…….!!

    Til later on and Love Always!!

    Randi

  6. vvm71 Says:

    Hapy new year. Saludos.

  7. ZostrumB Says:

    Congratulations! This should really be good for you (and Sarah too – your a good catch). Best of luck with the parents – but remember this – you are not alone.

  8. whenhopeislostnothingremains Says:

    Hi Ella,

    Good to hear you’re having a great time with Sarah. I hope things work out with your parents and I’m sure they will…

    Happy hollidays and a great 2009 to the both of you 😉

    kiss,
    WHILNR

  9. pantiesatwork Says:

    Congrats!

    Great pictures to!

  10. Gail Says:

    Hey hun, it’s good to you heading in a direction that you feel comfortable with. Beware the effects of hormones though, the physical effects can be good but it’s the psychological effects that sneak up on you. You know where i am if you wanna cha btw. Look me up on http://www.myspace.com/ssps76 or http://www.tvchix.com/view.php?user=SSPS5555.

    It’s good to see that you’ve got yourself a partner, and i’m sure your folks would be pleased for you regardless about the gender of a partner. I think if you was with a guy they’d be more likely to speculate whether it was him that was pressuring you to go on hormones to become his girl.

    Anyways best of luck with things.

    Gail

  11. A Says:

    I’m keeping my fingers x’d for you. =]

  12. Falcon Says:

    Congrats a great starting for the new year. I hope this new year will be the best.

  13. PriZm Says:

    May it be a great year!

  14. Anonymous Says:

    Ella, I hope things are going well for you.

    I eagerly await your next post!

  15. Anonymous Says:

    Didn’t hear anything in the new year. Hope you’re doing ok. Take care sweetie.

  16. Andreas (or Cindy?) Says:

    Hi Ella,
    very nice pictures of you. You are very sweet and can make a model carrer;-)

    Can you add me on MySpace?….PLEASE^^
    The Link is over this Message.
    There I would make a link to your site.
    Hope I hear you on MySpace.
    God look and have a nice Week

  17. Anonymous Says:

    Omg Keep writing!

    And Good Luck!

    Luv u!

  18. SouthWind48 Says:

    Use repeated readings, alternate and choral reading, and self-timing strategies to provide practice. ,

  19. Crazy51 Says:

    Hence, he is a dictator, and his rule has no moral authority. ,

  20. Mark41 Says:

    Dynamics is doing along some key criteria. ,

  21. Wolf88 Says:

    Has the family requested an autopsy? ,

  22. frank Says:

    hallo my name its frank ilike sara his profile iwish he could sent me eny ilike that.

  23. Anonymous Says:

    You are so sweet, i love you to

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