Monday, 08 December 2008
I’m lucky, I’m not denying that. Sarah knows I’m a girl at heart and she treats me that way. She tells me I’m the girl in this relationship. The relationship I didn’t know existed until tonight. We are really close now, and now our friends know how close. I don’t mind. I had to open up to another of our friends, but once again, she was amazing. I feel so lucky to have these people as friends. I am luckier than I ever thought I could be. I guess my faith in the human race has been restored a little. Sure some people are jerks, but really, most people are not.
Recently, well, last Sunday, my bag went missing because I’m an idiot. I got too drunk and I lost it in one of several places. I lost my iPod as well as the speakers and the more expensive headphones. It cost me about £200, which, in universal terms, is a lot of money. To me anyway. Therefore, after that night, and the subsequent non returning of belongings, I lost faith in the human race. How can people be so comfortable with taking someone else’s belongings with no prior desire to?! I don’t get it. Fortunately, since then I feel that people are better than that generally speaking. Sure some dickwad’s will take anything for free, but I don’t really have to ever bother with them because I’m never gonna be friends with them, and I’m never going to give them the option of a freebie ever again.
I am a little drunk tonight, which makes it a little awkward to be on nights. I’ve gotta go to bed in about 3 hours, but under normal circumstance with my normal drunken state I would just collapse into bed and forget about anything that happened tonight. Right now, I’m forced to review it, and I don’t mind. Nothing happened tonight that I would change. Sure, Sarah kissed me, a lot, in front of my friends, but at least now they know how I feel inside. I honestly feel like a girl when I’m with her and she tells me so, it is like the best feeling in the world. I may be a little beyond sober tonight, but I know what I’m talking about. If Sarah is happy with me as a person like she says she is, then I can’t see us ever having a problem with this relationship ever. But if, like apparently other’s have found, she gets uninterested by me, I guess I’ll have to make do. She’s a great friend, and I can’t ever see that changing. If she just becomes a great friend, I’ll be fine, but I like the idea of a relationship with her.
I get the feeling I’m saying things without even thinking, so I’ll probably leave the important topics for another night. Tonight though, I am just happy I have friends like I do and I hope this feeling will never end. If I do move in with Sarah, like she has suggested, I hope things turn out as good as she’s said it will.
Sorry I’m drunk!