Monday, 10 March 2008
I really feel annoyed with myself for not updating, but hey, that’s the way it goes sometimes. It’s not just uploading on here for people to read, it’s more for my own benefit when I’m older. These past two weeks have been very busy with clubbing and having fun. I’ve met a few knew people, I’ve learnt a few new things about people I already knew, and I met some people I once knew that I stopped knowing, but have now got the chance to know again. It’s great!
One of my biggest things to hear was that I am fancied, by girls that I know. What am I supposed to do about that?! Just tell them all and get it over with? I think that’s probably the best option, but when they’re in a big group it’s difficult. There’s one girl in particular that I’ve just met over the past few weeks and she’s going out with one of my best friends. She is, cool, I guess, but compared to my best friends ex, she is a lot more outgoing, sexual and flirty. She flirts with me openly in front of my friend, I feel really awkward for him because his last girlfriend was nothing like this. Also his ex has also started being flirty with me, which seems to me, to be a means of getting back at my friend. It’s all very complicated and maybe one day I’ll talk more about my friends, because at the moment there’s a whole lot of ‘soap’-like drama going on. Unwanted pregnancies, bisexual attraction, talent show applying. It all gets ahead of me so quickly it’s difficult to keep up. Worst of all my whole group of friends is sex-obsessed, and they all know I’m a virgin, so when the conversation somehow makes its way to me, there’s usually an awkward silence. I want to be open with them, but I like them all so much I’d hate to break up the group with difference of opinion. Some people would stand by me, most I believe, but there’s a couple of people I would certainly question understanding.
Also, there is a party on the horizon. 5th April. And it’s fancy dress…
Do I dare? Do I go as something female?! They said anything goes, so….
I don’t know, I’ll see. I really want to, but, again, we’ll see.
By the way, if you can’t tell from the inevitable spelling mistakes I’ve failed to notice and the general typing-whilst-drunk vibe of this entry, I have had a few to drink. Only a few but enough to blur the lines a bit. Unfortunately drink has taken a very prominent role in the last fortnight, which has been fun, yes, but it has also felt like it’s gone ten times quicker because I can’t remember much of it. All of a sudden, here I am one night away from working again. It’s annoying! Why do holidays always come to an end?! In a way I want to get back, just so I can feel more like I’m doing something with my life and I will be a little more distracted from my gender problems, but in so many more ways, I want to go out with friends and have fun!
Well it’s getting late again, and I really should get a relatively early night for my 1pm start tomorrow. Until the crack of noon…