Thursday, 14 February 2008
I feel like my life is passing me by right now. There’s so much I want to do, but I just don’t seem to have the drive to do it. I’ve had texts off a few friends recently and I’ve just not replied at all. I can’t really understand why. I guess it’s because I know that nothing will come from it really. I can’t meet up with them for god knows how long. The way things have fallen at work is that I don’t have a day off for nine more days. Ok I bet there’s people out there that are saying “Peeh, Nine days?! Try doing 30!” I guess I should be thankful I have a job at all, and that’s a lot money coming my way. I will be missing one of my friends birthdays and countless other meeting up times. I thought these new hours would be better for me, but I think I preferred it with longer days and only 4 days a week. This feels a lot more demanding.
Oh hey, would you look at that, it’s Valentine’s Day. Whether this is an over-commercialised Saint Day, or whether I’m just being cynical again, this is still a terrible day if you’re single. I guess I shouldn’t let it get to me. Looking back on last years entry, I was feeling pretty much the same thing. Loneliness, life is passing me by, all that palaver. I wish I just knew what it is that’s stopping me getting out there and doing things like most 20 year olds would. Am I lacking self confidence, or am I using that as an excuse? I wish there was just a switch on the side of me that I could turn to ‘Get Out There, Ya Fool!’. Currently it’s on ‘Stay Inside, Eat A Sweet, Write About How Bad Your Life Is On An Online Diary That Is Losing Quality At The Same Rate This Sentence Is Growing’. It would have to in be small writing.
I apparently can’t even be bothered to write any more either. Gotta snap out of this soon.