Sunday, 20 January 2008
I have to say, that probably the best thing I’ve done in recent years is write this diary. I cannot think of many bad things that have come from it. Ok, so I do lose out on a little bit of sleep, but on the up-side, it’s a place I can speak freely about exactly how I feel, so it’s a way to express myself, it’s also keeping record of everything I do, so I can never forget. And I think, best of all, even though it wasn’t completely obvious to begin with, it is making me get out there and do more things. I want to do exciting things and I want something to talk about in my diary. My thoughts can only go a certain distance, it’s made me want to go and see the world with my camera around my neck and a smile on my face. I am convinced that everything has beauty, no matter who or what it is. In every town and village in every country in the world, there will be something worth looking at and photographing.
I am coming to realise just how passionate about creativity I am, especially photography. A photo can do so many things to you. You can be completely open with photography, I just love it, I wish I could take my camera everywhere. If I go out, there’s always a time when I wish I had a camera with me at that exact moment. I want to be able to just take pictures with my eyes, but I guess that kind of technology will have to wait.
I was really hoping I could do this ‘365 Days’ idea, where I take a picture everyday. Unfortunately, I realised my current life isn’t interesting enough just yet. A lot of days I am a devil for routine. I go to work, come home, have a snack and waste the hours away on the internet. It’s no way to live for me. I’m strangling myself too much. I feel like I need to move out, and me and my parents have spoken quite a bit about this recently. They talk about me buying a place and renting it out, that way it pays for itself for a time and at the end of it I’ve actually got a place. The thing is, as soon as I’ve bought myself a flat or something, I just know that I’d want to go and live there straight away. I’m probably a bit impatient, but I just know I would be a lot more outgoing as soon as I’m away from my parents constant worrying and general nosiness.
Well it’s certainly something to think about for me. But then where would I go? Would I stay near my parents here, or would I, maybe, consider moving abroad?! It is, after all, a fantastic time for us Brits to make a move to the US. And I did love San Francisco! Yeh, ok, I’m dreaming again, but I really would love to live there. Not really because of the whole ‘gay pride’ thing, but more just because I loved the place. Everything about it was amazing, every time I think about being there, or just being in America, I get a frog in my throat and just feel like I couldn’t be anywhere else.
Well I better get to sleep. Get a relatively early night.