Resolution : Fail

Friday, 04 January 2008

01:11

Ok, I’m not even a week into the new year and already I’ve failed one of my resolutions. I have taken no photos today and I really don’t care. It is very difficult to find something interesting to take a photo of everyday, and it’s not just that, it’s also the carrying of the camera everywhere I go. I wish there was just a way you could photograph whatever you see at a certain point with your own eyes. That would be amazing.

That wasn’t my main resolution anyway, and besides I can still take lots of pictures, I just won’t take one everyday.

My main resolution is, as expected, to sort my life out. Get back to the doctors as soon as I’m working back in a normal routine. Make my parents understand! Oh yes today, my Mum was talking to me about me getting upset just before new years, and she said “Have you got over that upset you had the other day now?” I just mumbled as a reply, but then she said “Aren’t you daft getting upset about not having a new years party?!”. I didn’t really know what to say to this. I never once said I got upset about not having a new years party, and to be perfectly honest it had nothing to do with that, and I think my Mum knows that. Why is she trying to hide what I was really crying about, with me? Such a pointless activity. She’s just blocking out all existence of “my problem” at the moment. This has to change, I need to get myself a backbone and actually make a point of standing up for myself!

Well away from that, my sister seems to currently have Norovirus which is basically just a short sharp winter flu. It’s also highly contagious so I wouldn’t be surprised if I come down with it as well in the next few days. Another good reason to not do this 365 photography thing. If all I’m doing is puking all day, I’m not exactly going to have pleasant photographs.

Well that’s all for now I’m really tired, I’m not used to staying up late again yet. Maybe when my new contract starts on the 12th Jan I might get to stay up later and pay more attention to this side of my life. The dark, underground, secretive side that wants to be the bright, overground, open side of me. In a few years it will, let me just bide my time.

Night! X

One Response to “Resolution : Fail”

  1. Danielle Says:

    I know how you feel Ella, my dad definitely knows about me (he’s taken delivery of my clothes, some skirts on hangers just covered in clear plastic and some trousers) but doesn’t acknowledge it. So annoying and I so want to say something but can’t bring myself to do it. He’s never mentioned anything about the clothes to me but he must know.

    I don’t try to hide myself, i’m just not obvious (well apart from my ordering of clothes online!!). I hope your parents start to acknowledge the true you soon. But try to understand it will take time.

    Anyway i love your blog, keep up the good typing.

    Take care,

    Danielle.

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