Attack of the Christmas Killjoys

Friday, 14 December 2007


Well it looks like my time at Marks & Spencer’s will be substantially increased. My current contract was due to end on January 12th, but due to nagging by my supervisor, and the fact I don’t have any better ideas, I decided to apply for one of the permanent vacancies that’s currently going. If I get the position I want, I will be working 1pm to 9pm, five days a week, with every other Saturday off, which isn’t all that bad. It’s full time, it’s just basically a rearrangement of my current hours. I do feel a bit like I’m going to be stuck there for a while, and I really don’t want to be. It is an OK place to work, but I don’t want to spend any more than another year working there. I want to go on to doing bigger and better things. They did even mention today that I had the potential to become a supervisor or more. Without trying to blow my own trumpet, I reckon I could, but I’m not sure I’d want to. I want to do better things with my life than just being a supervisor in a store. I don’t know whether it’s ambition, or just misplaced optimism!

Anyway, I didn’t want to talk mainly about that this morning. I just heard something on the news about our local Christmas lights not being very good this year, the reason; the lights from previous years were a danger to Health and Safety laws. Warning, this may be a long rant…

Health and Safety, amongst other things like some Political Correctness, is completely ruining the fun and happiness of Christmas. There have been several stories in the papers of late about these sort of things. First off, apparently there was a man that played Santa in a department store. He was a good Santa, nothing wrong with him, he laughed, asked the kids what they wanted for Christmas, and Ho Ho Hoed as much as was appropriate. Or so it seemed. Apparently, these days Santa cannot say “Ho Ho Ho” because it can also be derogatory term for women. Oh come off it. If this is true I just don’t believe it! How can you stop Santa saying Ho Ho Ho? Next they’ll be telling us we can’t call Donkeys “Asses” and maybe even we can’t clap anymore because it sounds like “crap”. It’s just silly.

The other article in the paper was about a Lollipop lady who, every Christmas, dressed up in some kind of fancy dress to get into the festive spirit. This year, nuhu. Not aloud. No fancy dress for you Missy. The reason this time was Health and Safety. She, apparently, wouldn’t be seen in the middle of the road if she was wearing a turkey outfit or something similar. Wait a minute, how could you miss a woman dressed as a turkey standing in the middle of the road? If you were driving along, and you managed to over look the fact that kids were crossing the road, and you didn’t notice the fluorescent Lollipop the lady was carrying, nor did you see a woman akin to poultry, then maybe you shouldn’t be driving at all.

So, there we go, they are Killjoys amongst us, and I tell you something, it’s probably down to us as a general public, that they are there. If we (in general) didn’t sue everyone for such menial things then maybe there’s still be some joy left on the streets this Christmas. Fair enough it you get hit on the head with a fire extinguisher by your drunk boss. That’s fair, you’ve got a case there. But if, say a light bulb fell out the ceiling and landed on your head for no reason, then don’t for the love of god sue. Just accept it was an accident that happens everyday. Otherwise light bulbs will have to be more secure and it’ll need even more people to change them.

How many Health and Safety supervisors does it take to change a lightbulb?

5. One to change it, four to hold the ladder.

Ok I’ve had enough. Here’s another picture. Farewell.

11th December (2)

Night! X


2 Responses to “Attack of the Christmas Killjoys”

  1. Zostrum Says:

    [Sound of jaw hitting floor!!!]

    Oh momma!

  2. Alice Says:

    The word ‘phwor!’ comes to mind

    working full time isn’t such a bad thing.

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