Saturday, 17 November 2007
You know what, just after I finished my entry from last night, I don’t know what did it, but I suddenly felt more at ease with myself. I think I am now accepting myself for who I am. I actually just smiled to myself, I just felt happy. I couldn’t tell you what it was that did it, I wish I knew, but I now feel more confident in myself as well.
Actually what may have done it is telling my parents. Saying everything that had been hanging over my head all my life has made me feel so much better. I think last night it just sank in. Finally, it’s all gone! I don’t have to pretend around them anymore, they will always love me, and I can, eventually, go and live my own life the way I want to.
I have never been more confident that this is who I am, who I will become. I remember way back when, when I first heard of the possibility of becoming a woman, I just thought, “I’d love to, but it’ll never happen”. Over the years my feelings only got stronger and now, here I am stood at the bottom of that very ladder I’m going to climb. There’s no way that I’m going to have to break it to my parents again, that was a once in a lifetime thing. It’s done!
Going along with my huge sense of self-acceptance, I uploaded these new pictures onto flickr. They are a couple of months old, and they are a bit different, but this is me without wigs or anything. It’s just me.
Well I need an early night, I am going out tomorrow night, and I’m looking forward to it, no longer to blow off some steam, but to just get out and have some fun with friends again!