I Miss Going Out

Sunday, 11 November 2007

02:21

There’s nothing I want to do more right now than just dive into bed and get a good nights sleep for once. Living two lives really does take it out of you! I won’t be staying long tonight.

Today I didn’t have to wear a turkey costume, so already my life is improving! I realise I may have over-reacted to that whole event yesterday, but it really was embarrassing, I don’t care what you say! Work was ok today, and not a whole lot really happened that’s different to usual. I was on the till most the day and when I was off I was constantly getting harassed with questions like, “Do you have a half leg of lamb?” , “Where are the prawns?” , “Where’s Luke?!” , “Get me rice!” , “I want nuts!”. People tend to get less and less pleasant the busier and later in the day it gets. Those quotes were not all from the same person, just to let you know!

The main thing I’d like to say from today, is the fact that I haven’t been out clubbing or even just pubbing for so so long. Since my friend, Rob, left for uni, I could probably count the amount of good nights I’ve had on one finger. What brought this up again today was the fact that the new Christmas temps that started three weeks ago were going out together tonight, even though they’ve only known each other for like a month. How come? I seem to have to know someone for at least ten years before I work up the relationship enough to go out with them. In fact I don’t think I’ve made any new real friends since college. When I say ‘real friend’ I mean someone who I would go out clubbing with and the like. I don’t know what I can do to be more friendly. I think people like me, but never enough! Maybe people can subconsciously tell that I’m blocking my true self from them, they feel they cannot get close to me because I’m not honest with them. Or of course it could be just because my confidence is usually not brilliant.

Well I’m tired tonight, my writing isn’t up to much, so I’m going to call it a night.

Currently I’m… listening to “Gangsta’s Paradise” by Coolio on the radio. This seemingly random song was actually my favourite song on the first CD I ever owned. The first CD I ever bought was “Spice World” by the Spice Girls, but lets not get into that…

Night! X

2 Responses to “I Miss Going Out”

  1. Darcy Says:

    Not living honestly has its drawbacks, and I don’t mean about who you are. If you honestly want to go clubbing, go out clubbing. Decide to go on your own, and then mention it casually to people. Ask people to go with you but without a sense of urgency. Relationships aren’t for deriving direction. Decide where you’re going, start going, let people know, and watch who follows.

    I think you have to be friendlier to you, then the rest will follow.

    “before I work up the relationship enough”

    Quit earning people. It only lowers you. It’s not a currency system. And in the absence of a currency system, you can never see yourself as less than.

    Hopeful kind encouragement from a stranger who’s been there and done that. 🙂 Cheers.

  2. Alice Says:

    i hate going clubbing on my own. I am terrible at making friends spontaneously.

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