Thursday, 04 October 2007
Still no closer to knowing if I get next week off or if Crossdress night is going ahead. I told Charlie about it and today she replied saying that she can’t come, but she would come and see us in our outfits before we go out!
Well, apart from that minor bit of news, nothing else really happened. I honestly can’t think. I went to work, did some work, came home, sat around, and now I’m here! Oh yes, a new girl has started at work today. It’s the Christmas temps coming in now. Her name, is, well, it’s, ahem, Dale. Yeh, Dale. Like a boy, but she’s a girl. One of my friends from work said he knew a boy with her exact name, surname and all, and he thought it would be her, but when she turned up he was a little taken aback! She is quite clearly a girl. For a second I thought maybe it could be a transgendered girl, but then I thought, no, wait, not every other person in the world is transgender, what are the chances that someone else transgender comes and works here. It’s a slim possibility, but it would be great. Having someone else to share my feelings with, and not have to travel all over the country to meet up with.
It can be lonely feeling like this, I have to admit. Like tonight when I was just finishing off, I was getting so very agitated. I kinda felt like I wanted to cry, and I didn’t know why. Nothing in particular bothering me, apart from my life in general of course. I just wanted to come out and tell my parents. It’s been months and months and months I’ve been writing about telling them, and years and years before then I’ve wanted to do it too, and so far nothing. Diddly Squit. I’m starting to convince myself that they would be ok with it, but I’m still not convinced enough. I just have to come out and tell them so they can stop worrying about what might be wrong, and start to come to terms with the truth.
Anyway, all this is beaten terrain, I’ve been over it many times before.
Currently I’m… silently quite pleased with that ‘beaten terrain’ metaphor! I’m also hoping the meeting with Charlie doesn’t fall through tomorrow.