Saturday, 22 September 2007
Today was terrible, and I?d rather not talk about it, but I guess I have to really.
Ok so nothing ?terrible? happened, but I just got all annoyed and upset over nothing. Basically work was rubbish. I came in at 10:30am and was put straight on a till. I was still there when it was time for my break. So I had my 30 minutes and I came back down and then, Bam, straight on a till again. And I was there til 5pm then. That?s six whole hours of tilling with only half an hour break in between. I know what you?re thinking, ?What can be so bad about tilling??. Well it is just the complete repetitiveness of it all, and having to be smiley all the time, and then when some customer comes through who?s convinced they?re right about the price of some artichokes, and is a real arse about me questioning him, and then it turns out he was wrong, that all gets to me eventually. By the end of the day I felt close to tears again. Seriously, you just get so worked up you do get that bad. It?s not just the fact you?re on there all day, after all it is part of my job, but there?s people doing less hours than me being taken off the till to do things that, let?s face it, I could do better than them anyway! I?m sorry, but I just get so pissed off when I?ve been sat there all day, saying Hi, beeping things through, saying how much money it is, taking the amount of money they give, giving the change from the amount of money they gave me, handing them the receipt stating how much money it was, how much they gave me, and how much I gave them, and saying Bye. It sounds petty to be annoyed at that, but I?m not pulling your leg here, it?s horrible.
Ok, well after that ?fantastic? day at work, I came home to find out that not only did I still not have the camera I was buying yesterday, but also I might not even be getting one. The situation is complicated, but lets just say this. I went into the camera shop. The guy that served us was the assistant to a photographer who used to work with my Dad. Then some talk was had and it was decided that Dad?s friend would call Dad to see if he can arrange some kind of discount with us. All very well and good, I guess, but now it?s panning out so much more complicated than it really needs to be. I?ve been going on about buying a camera for quite a while now, and when I finally get the chance to go into town with Dad, we fail to buy a camera. You know I don?t remember the last time I actually bought something for myself, in a shop, without any kind of interference. I don?t think I?ve ever done it! Something always gets in the way, and then there?s a lengthier, but a little cheaper way of doing it. I guess it makes more sense in the long run, maybe I?m just impatient. In fact yes, I am impatient.
After talking to this guy in the camera shop (who is actually a year younger than me), I got very disheartened. He knows one hell of a lot more about cameras than I do, and I?ve seen some of his pictures and they are fantastic. And then there?s the guy who he?s an assistant to. He, apparently, has ?the gift of the gab? and everyone likes him. That?s another problem with me. I?ve never really had enough confidence in myself to get out there and just talk to strangers.
I now feel like I?m under pressure by these guys to do well. They both now know I?m just getting into photography, and no doubt they?d want to see some pictures. Well I feel embarrassed to show the ones I have now. Some are ok yes, but I just feel like I can do so much better!
Anyway, I really had better get to bed, I don?t want to be all tired and irritable again tomorrow.
I?m currently? watching coverage of the Isle of Wight Festival out of the corner of my eye and with the sound off. Music isn?t really up to much without sound.